And what a return to Belize it was. The kind of first night one could only wish for, but would be senseless to expect. Now to be clear, I do not condone drinking and driving whatsoever, but…
There we were, December 26th 2017 after spending 11 days driving from Eyebrow Saskatchewan, to Punta Gorda, Belize. My trusty old Pickup truck Simba, Maria, and Me. Punta Gorda is in the southern end of the country and we finally reached the area as the sun was setting and we had already polished off a few brews given our anticipated arrival. Overall it had been a boring trip. straight south about 6,000 KM’s from Eyebrow does not have much change of landscape. It’s farmland, but if anything one can note the shifting trends of agriculture based on location. It doesn’t change much. Farming technology perhaps and the crops being grown, from the wheat fields of Canada to Corn, and most finally the most prominent Central American crop, Sugar Cane.
But as we rolled in to quiet PG Town there were no friends to speak of at the presumed locations, and so we had another beer. Having crossed into Belize on Christmas Day, there were no insurance companies open to make my Toyota a legal ride in Belize. But we’d crossed the country regardless, strategically avoiding police check stops. So after a few beers in a restaurant with WiFi we found our good friends had messaged me to “Come to the Green Fence, If you make it here tonight” Oh shoot, Now where was the Green Fence again? It was a quiet little patio bar on the edge of town in some direction. As the Bar Owner was giving us directions, the Police rolled up.
“Everything alright Ms. Flo?” They Asked
“Yes Sir, could you please give these two an escort to the Green Fence?”
So there we were, slightly intoxicated, in an uninsured vehicle with Saskatchewan plates, being escorted through town by the local Police to the dive bar across town. Rock n’ Roll.
You may remember me telling you about my Band down south, The Smoking Anaconda’s. Well they hadn’t skipped a beat in my time away. The Cops pulled over and said “It’s just right down there” and as we walked around the corner we could here the band playing going full boar, to a relatively large crowd for such a small bar. When ShuShae the singer spotted me he stopped the music. “Jolie Blue is in the House!” He hollered to a crowd full of people who probably didn’t even know who I was. But the gesture was nice and the welcome would have been overwhelming if it wasn’t in such a lively, take it as it comes, place like Belize. “Go get your guitar!”
Within minutes of tuning up, and plugging in we were back to Jamming all the old tunes we’d been doing in the years prior. Bring It On Home a well known classic, my favourite coming from “The Animals” was the first song we played and to the surprise of everyone, was enough to have one semi-elderly Belizean woman storm the dance floor and expose her chest for the band. A kind enough gesture, I played it cool. Can’t be distracted by Titties already Jolie, You’ve only just arrived.
Now the Green Fence is known as the place where crazy stuff does happen, this wasn’t the first time this woman breasts have made an appearance, hell it wasn’t even the first time I’D been there where I’ve seen them bouncing around the dance floor… So we continued down our more crude set list of songs. When we played “Eating Pussy/Kicking Ass” a Satirical homage to the downfall of Popular Country Music, this woman soon had her dress pulled down from the top, and up from the bottom. Still pretty much the only one on the dance floor, as the rest of the crowd was now more entertained by her.
Amidst other songs we soon jumped into an even more controversial tune by request, about the anatomy of the African American Male… This was all she could handle as the then began rubbing her bosom on the mic-stand, causing the microphone to sway and the song to fall apart. We cut the song 3/4 short and I called out “We’re going to have to end it there, because it seems you folks can’t handle much more” The crowd chuckled and that signalled the end of the set. And what a return to Belize it was.
There would be many more shows in our next 40 odd days in Punta Gorda, none more however, would feature the topless wonder. That night we slept at my dear friend/bandmate Allen’s place, woke up, and began our second day back in Belize. We hunted down Oscar Burke, who was right where I left him, at the Central Club on Front Street. Oscar loves the music, any music, so he was more than obliged to host, at his bar, and shows I was hoping to do during my time in PG. And So we began planning… To Be Continued